domingo, 20 de outubro de 2013

Capitulo 20 - A million little pieces.

Hawaii. It was my dream. Wasn't it? Well, I thought it was, now I'm not so sure. I just don't feel like I belong. Don't feel like home. At least not like New York. Even Lisbon wasn't where I belong. That's why I changed everything. I couldn't even think in portuguese anymore. My parents had me when they were living in Louisiana, but they went back to Portugal right after.
Anyway, when I woke up the day after, I needed a familiar voice, so the number I dialed was obvious.
- Hi. - I said, nervous.
- Hello kitty cat. - he said with his most sweet morning voice. Well, it wasn't morning in New York but he definately has just woken up.
- Good morning baby. How are you?
- ...Ok. You?
- Ok.
- Have you got any news from the show?
-No. Today I'm meeting Alex and we'll see. Maybe I'll audition today.
- Are you ready?
- I was born ready.
- Ahah good.
- Well, I just called to see how you are and... hear your voice.
- Yeah, it's good to hear your voice. Oh and Annie told me to tell you that Johanna was there on vacation with her fiaancé. Maybe you would want to meet her.
- Oh awesome. I'll call her right away.
- I'M COMMING! Sorry, I have to go. Can I call you later?
- Yeah, we'll talk soon. I love you.
- I love you.

After that I called Juca to know how she was.
- Helloooo!
- Hi Rita! What's up?
- Shannon just told me you were in Hawaii.
- Yeah, I'm here with John. When are you coming?
- I'm already here actually. Do you want to have dinner?
- That's an awesome idea. Where are you at?
- At the Honolulu Center Hotel II.
- We can go get you if you like.
- Perfect. I'll call you later,ok?  I got someone on hold. 7pm is cool?
- Awesome. See you later sweetheart. - she hang up and I answer the other one.

- Hi Alex!
- Hi Rita. Did I wake you?
- No, I was already awake.
- Can I come by and pick you up? I'm looking forward to present you the cast. Robert told me he wants to see you? Is that good for you?
- Great, I'm super ready.
- I'll be there in 10, ok?
- deal.
It took me 5 minutes to take a quick shower and another 5 to dress and get ready. As promissed, he was there when he said he would.

While we were eating he kept asking if I was ok. Well it is kind of obvious that I wasn't. Just like he wasn't when he left his son with his mother. I was so mad, with no reason, that words started to come out of my mouth and I could not stop the damn thing.
- Alex, if you keep asking that, I swear I'll take the first flight back to america. Of course I'm not ok! I just left everyone love  to be here! Remember when you came to me crying because you were already missing Saxon? Well, it is the same. Now leave me alone. - shit, I was being a bitch.
- I thought this was what you wanted. I'm just trying to help anyway. You don't need to talk like that.
- Shit. I'm so sorry, Alex. This has been too hard. I'm sorry.
- I know this isn't easy. That's why I'm trying to help you. I don't want to be the bad guy here, but no one forced you to come. You are here because this is what you want.
- I know. - he was right.
- So cheer up. This isn't time for sadness, sweetheart. Everything will be ok. - "Everything will be ok". Auch! I was looking at him but when he said that I saw Shannon in his eyes.
- Yeah, everything will be ok. - I tried to smile a little and think positive.
- Let's go? I want you to meet your collegues.
- Alright let's go.

We went right to were they were shooting and that yes, oh yes, that was my dream.
- Good morning guys. This is Rita. Your future new parter. -They were very kind. Daniel and Grace said hello, but not Scott. I knew Scott for a long time. Since he shot 'Lonely hearts' with Jared he became a family friend. So yeah, he didn't just say hello, he hugged me tight and, hell, that's what I needed the most.

- Scott, I missed you so much!
- Why didn't you tell me you were coming?
- I wanted to surprise you.
- Well, it was a hell of a surprise.
- I'm awesome, I know.
- Still the same ahah!
- Always.
- Did you know each other? - Alex asked, also surprised.
- Yeah, I made Lonely Hearts with Jared. Her brother In law.
- Jared? Brother in law?
- Jared Leto, he's my... was my... he's my ex-boyfriends brother.
- Oh sorry. - Scott said, flustered.
- It's ok. - I smiled, hiding all the shit that has been in my head.
- Hello, You must be Rita. - he was a a very handsome man in his fifties.
- Hi, yes I am.
- My name is Robert, the director. Nice to meet you. - he shook my hand.
- Oh the pleasure is all mine. Alex, you got yourself a very beautiful friend. You're a hell of a woman.
- Thank you, sir.
- Oh, call me Rob, please.
- Oh ok, Rob... I guess. - it was a bit awkward.
- Hey don't listen to him. He's a womanizer. - Scott said in my ear.
- Are you ready for your audition, miss?
- Hum, yeah sure.
- So do you want to follow me? The judges are waiting.
- Ok, let's go.
- Good luck! - they said.
- You're gonna kill it. - scott said, blinking his eye.
When we entered the room, there were 3 people sit with very serious faces.
- So Rita, whenever you're ready.
- Good morning, my name is Rita.
- Hey, I just had my audition... - Of course that Shann was the first person I called.
- So am I going to see you soon or not? - I know that deep down he was hoping that I would fail. A little selfish, I know...but I understand.
- Not.
- Oh congratulations, baby. You deserve it - he tried to pretend.
- You don't need to hide anything, Shannon.
- I'm not hiding, Rita. I'm happy for you.
- Hum hum.
- Of course I would love you being here with me but we don't always get what we want, so what other choice do I have than to be extremelly happy for you?
- I can hear in your voice that you are not.
- I'm happy for you. I'm just not happy myself.
- I'm sorry.
- It's ok. - we did not say a thing. We like it or not,  this was tearing us appart. - I gotta go.
- Ok.
- Talk to you soon. Bye
- Bye. Shann, I... - he hung up. - I miss you. 

- Hey is everything ok?  - Grace asked, joining me near the beach.
- wha..? Oh yeah sure.
- We're going to luch at Aloha's?  Want to come?
- Sure. Let's go.

That lunch was amazing. My new collegues were really trying to make me feel part of the 5-0 family and that felt amazing OR they were trying just to get me drunk which wasn't the best choice.

Alex offered to get me home but I didn't want to go home.
- Can we go to the beach?
- Are you sure? - he asked.
- Yeah...  I need to see the sea.
- Ok...
As I said, getting me drunk wasn't the best choice. We were siting on the sand and I couldn't stop talking. In 5 minutes I told him everything: Shannon, my mom, my dream, everything... And also...
- Alex, I think you're smoking hot. I wouldn't mind take you to bed. Expecially now that I don't have a boyfriend anymore and he doesn't even care. He must be fucking every single young girl in LA and New York, so... yeah, screw it...

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