segunda-feira, 23 de dezembro de 2013

Capitulo 23 - She dreams of love, he lives to run.

Annie and Jared

- Hey Annie Banani! - he screamed as he entered the room. Annie was seating on the couch with the phone on his lap.
- Really?
- What? I thought you liked when I call you Annie Banani. - he sat beside her - Hi baby - and kissed her. - Is everything ok?
- Yeah, I just talked to Rita...
- Oh is she ok?
- Yeah she's... she's fine.
- So why are you feeling so blue?
- It just upsets me,  you know... this whole thing between Rita and Shannon, I mean... why does it has to happen? They were so in love, so drawn to each other. And just like that... puff. Its all over. Everyones broken.
- I know right. I mean... Shannon is really broken. I've never seen him like this and when he discovered that she was with Alex... Annie, breaks my heart seeing my brother like this.
- I just wish I could help.
- Yeah, me too.
- Jay, promise me we're never gonna be like them.
- Yeah I don't wanna be like them either. I know that I make a lot of mistakes, Annie... we will have to find a way out to solve the problems. But later... Now I have to solve another problem. I mean, you'll have to solve it. - Jared said, getting closer to Annie.

- I know I know. I'll make something for you to eat. -She got up and he followed her.
- Not what I meant... - Jared hugged her and forced her to hug him too trying to drag her hands to his ass. - I was talking about my huge boner... - she loved when he whispered those kind of things on her ear.
- Don't you wanna eat first? - he slides his hands from her belly to her breats and neck.
- You think? - His voice and breath were hot and slow.
- Who needs food, anyway? - she follows his lead and starts kissing him while his hands are searching every part of her body.
- Its almost christmas... I think I deserve a little present. - he whispered while squeezing her breasts with both hands.

- Yeah, I think so.
- On your knees. - He demanded but she ignored him and tried to kiss him again. - Anna, on...your...knees. Now. She slowly got on her knees and unlocked his belt. With one hand she was caressing his boner through the jeans and with the other, she pushed his jeans and boxers down. His member was huge and super excited right in front of her face so she grabbed it tight and started licking it and stroking with her hand.

- Oh yes, just like that baby. - His hand was touching her hair forcing her to go further. - Just like that... - he moaned. She kept doing her job until he told her to stop - Get up! - As she did, he got rid of his shoes and clothes and did the same with her dress.
- Jezus, Jared, you drive me crazy! - She tried to say while he was wildly kissing her.
- And I've only started... - Suddenly, he quickly grabbed her and put her on the table near by, standing between her legs. He started to kiss her neck, moving to her breasts, licking and bitting while his hand was inside her panties stroking her clit, deadly slowly. She was feeling the orgasm growing inside her and he knew itb so he stopped everything and just stood there touching himself. She was about to do the same when... - Stop. Don't. Just watch... - He kept stroking himself between her legs but without touching her.
- You're killing me, Jared. C'mon... - He knew it.
- That's exactly what I want... - he laughed a bit, watching her getting insane to have him.
- Please, baby...
- What? Tell me.

- Just do me already. - He kissed her once again and licked her body until he reached her clit. He licked her over and over again and she felt the orgasm growing again. - Oh my lord, Jay... - and as he helped, getting a finger inside her, she came hard squeezing his head between her thighs. - Oh jezus fucking christ, Jared!!! - He stopped and she finally rested.
- You just woke up the whole neighbourhood. - He laughed kissing her belly.

- This is what you do to me, you crazy son of a bitch. Come here. - He climbed to the table too and stood right there.
- I love you... - How sweet... he told her looking into her eyes.
- I love you. - she had those sky blue eyes looking to her freaking soul. - Not the right moment, tho... saying this while having sex: Not vailable. - they laughed.
- I'll tell you later again, baby. - saying that, he shoved his member right where she wanted.
- Oh jezus fucking christ. Oh my god, Jared. - She moaned as he started moving inside her.
- You're too religious today, Annie... Something wrong? - he joked.
- Oh shut up.. - they started to move a little bit faster together. Both sweaty, moaning, horny... until they both reached that point where they couldn't take it anymore and exploded. Well, she did it first, then she just started to move her hips slowly towards his pelvis and he was sexily insane. His pupils were so dilataded. It was like she was his drug. He had his mouth open while he moaned near to Annie's mouth.
- Right there, baby. Oh holy shit. - she started to move her hips faster - Yes baby, fuck me. Just like that. - She kept going until he couldn't take it anymore.
- You like it like this? - she felt him vibrating and a huge wild growl came from his mouth.
-  Oh lord... Annie, baby! - And he came. - Sweet mother of god! -  He rested his body on the top of hers.
- This was fun..
- You think? Ahahah - he asked, breathless.
- Yes!
- Hey can I get something to eat now? - they both laughed, tired.

segunda-feira, 11 de novembro de 2013

Capitulo 22 - And the story goes on...

- Ok, Rita are you ready? - said John, the producer.
- I WAS BORN READY, SIR! - we were making my first scene. My character's name is Sarah. She works for the FBI, was on a mission in Hawaii and was kidnapped by a korean son of a bitch that wanted to free his brother from jail. That was the scene where Steve McGarrett and his parters found and saved her.

- Hey! ANYONE! - I tried to scream, but no one was there to hear me. I also tried to free myself from the ropes I had grabbing my hands, but it was also impossible. I could see the raptors inside of a room upstairs. They were arguing about something. Couldn't hear what.

A couple moments later I hear something coming from the door. The raptors didn't. I thought it would be more of them, but no. They were cops. 3 guys and I girl. The taller one looked at me and told me to calm down. All I did was look at him. What else am I supposed to do, being stuck to a chair? -.-
Bad news? The bad guys saw the cops and started shotting. Meanwhile, the same guy that told me to calm down, came to free my hands and feet and took the tape from my mouth.

- Calm down, we're 5-0. Are you ok? - He asked has I got up.
- No time for that. - I grabbed his second gun from his pants, and shot the last raptor alive, that was about to shoot the smaller guy.
- What are you doing? - He asked me again.
-  You're 5-0 hum. Sarah Washington. FBI. - I said, giving the gun back.
- Steve McGarrett. Can you explained what just happened? You're FBI?
- Thanks for saving my ass. Ready to have me on your team?
- Wait, its you? 
- Not the best way to find out, hum. Sorry.
- Nice to meet you. Thank you on than one. Danny Williams. - Said the smaller guy.
- That's Kono and Chin. - Steve said.
- Nice to meet you. - they said.
- Pleasure's all mine. - Later outsise: - Weird way to meet your new partner, hein. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were dealing with this case.
- But what happened in there, actually? Were you alone? That doesn't seem like FBI.
- I know. Long story. Thank god you guys showed up.


- This was fun today. - I told scott, while we were having coffe and waiting for Alex.
- Yeah, I can see you're enjoying it.
- Its all I ever wanted.
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure, mate.
- Do you miss him?
- I try not to...
- Im just saying because Alex really is a nice guy, you know. He had a lot going on...
- I know. Don't worry.
- Its really great to have you here, you know? Makes me kind of miss NY, tho.
- yeah, I miss it too.

- Hey guys, what are we talking about? - Alex arrived sitting beside me.
- Hum, nothing important. I was about to leave. Just didn't want to leave her here alone.
- Aw, it is so kind of you, Scotty. But I guess I'm a grown woman now. - I joked.
- And that's my line to go ahah milady. - he kissed my hand. - Mister. - he shook Alex 's hand. - See you tomorrow.
- Hahaha. See you tomorrow. - and he left.
- What about us?  - he asked.
- What about? - I answered not leaving my eyes from the coffee cup. - Your house or mine?
- Rita, look at me. - and I did - For a month that we're doing this... Is it all this is gonna be?
- What?
- Friends with benefits. Is that it? Just sex?
- What do you want, Alex? 
- May I take you on a real date, Milady?
- Alex, hum... - "Jared, it's time to move on. Time to do or die, isn't it? Well, I feel like having a drink. Do you guys wanna come?" - Sure. Sounds good. Let's go. Can you just drop me at the hotel so I can take a shower and change.
- Ok, let's go.

30 minutes later, we were already heading the restaurant.

- You look good, honey.
- ahah you don't look so bad yourself...
- Ill take that as a compliment, ok?
- It was a compliment.

Already in the restaurant: 

- hahaha! - He was laughing, looking at me.
- Why are you so happy? - I smiled.
- It makes me happy knowing that you've chosen such a beautiful dress to be with me tonight. You look absolutely beautiful in your dress tonight.

- You like it, hum?
- I like everything about you. - I liked that but I changed the subject anyway..
- Why did you choose a restaurant so fancy? - I asked, drinking a little of wine.
- This is a special night...
- Is it?
- Yeah! Our first date...
- yeah, you're right.
- The first of many.
-  wow, you're so confident.
-  I don't know it must be the wine.

After a couple of glasses of wine, it wasn't hard to wonder where we ended up next. His bedroom.
- Its a really nice dress but I have to take it off. I'm dying to take it of you. - he was saying while trying to take my dress off.

- I'm thinking the same about this sexy, sexy, sexy suit. You're so damn sexy right now. - I started taking all his clothes off after I was already naked. The next moments are pretty predictable, right?

- Alex? - I asked, before falling asleep.
- Yes?
- I really enjoyed our first real date tonight, you know?
- I did too. You're really something.
- Something good, I hope.
- Is this becoming something serious?
- I don't know. Do you want to?  - I faced him, stroking his cheek.
- Yes, I really want to.
- So let's do it...
- You serious?
- Yeah, let's just not tell anyone from the show ok? I don't want them to think that I got the job only because we're together...
-  Its ok, baby.
- Thank you. - I smiled and kissed him. He hugged me tight. - This is going to be good. New country, new life.


5 days later

I knew something was different. I didn't feel the same. I took a day off and I called Annie in the morning.
- Olá Annie...
- Olá Ritinha! Como é que tu estás?
- Not sure... por isso é que preciso de falar contigo.
- Conta.
- Hum... Eu e o Alex temos estado juntos desde há um mês, como já sabes, não é?
- Sim?
- Pode ter havido algumas vezes que nao usámos protecçao...
- Mas tomas a pilula...
- Sim, mas... com os nervos do Shannon, depois a série... nao me lembro se a tomei como deve ser.
- Rita...? Mais alguma coisa que me queiras dizer sobre a tua vida sexual? - I was so nervous that tears started falling and there was nothing I could do.
- Annie, eu estou tão assustada!
- Mas acalma-te. Estás com medo de estar grávida, é isso?
- Já fiz o teste....
- Já viste o resultado?
- Estou grávida...
- Não acreditooooooo!
- Desculpa!
- Porque é que me estás a pedir desculpa?
- Porque fui uma irresponsável! Cheguei ao Hawaii e engravidei? Como é que não tive cuidado?
- Oh amor, calma! O que é que vais fazer agora?
- Decidir se vou ter este filho ou não...
- Claro que vais ter este filho! Nem penses em abortar! Se tiveste cabeça para o fazer, consciente dos teus atos ou não, terás cabeça para sofrer as consequências...Terão os dois!
- Tens razão...
- Nao me leves a mal,  Rita. O filho é do Alex? Pergunto isto porque não acabaste com o Shannon há muito tempo.
- Ai, tenho que ir falar com o Alex... - suddenly, I hear the door opening. - Ele vem aí... ligo-te depois, ok?
- Sim. Mantem a calma. Até logo.

- Hey baby, how are you feeling? - he asked kissing me on the cheek and sitting next to me.
- Not so well. I need to talk to you, Alex... - I was still nervous. Omg, what have I done to my life? I always thought id have kids after having my life organized, and honestly, I never thought it would be with Alex. 
- Ok, do you want me to call the doctor?
- No, its ok. - I grabbed his hand. - First of all, I hope you won't stay mad at me... I'm so sorry, Alex...
- Are you breaking up with me? - he was getting nervous.
- I know this is happening to fast, I should've been more carefull, I'm sorry. - I was crying again.
- But what have I done? Why are you breaking up with me?
- I'm not breaking up with you, Alex... - I kept crying.
- Hey dont cry, baby. Come here... -  he hugged me tight. - Dont cry...
- I'm pregnant...
- You're what? - He backed off.
- I'm pregnant... I'm so sorry, Alex. I know this hasn't been plan. We don't have to do this. I can still...
- No you won't. I won't let you. We're going to do this, baby... - He hugged me again - We're having a baby! - I could hear him smile through his voice.
- Aren't you mad at me?
- How could I? It takes two to do it, and I loved every single time we did it. I wasn't that carefull either! So please stop crying baby. Aren't you happy?
- Yes... but I'm so scared. This happened so fast. We've been together for a month and we're already having a baby? Its not a toy. I'm so scared. - I was happy but I couldn't stop crying.
- Shh, I'm right here... I'm right here. I'll be beside you no matter what. We'll enjoy this crazy adventure together... I love you. There's nothing to be scared of.
- I love you too.

What the hell? Why do I have to screw everything up all the time. With all the drama going on in my life, I had to get pregnant... I'm such an irresponsable looser. Have you ever got the need to go back and time and never be born? Well, I had.

quarta-feira, 6 de novembro de 2013

Capitulo 21 - Underdog, just look at the mess you've made.

- Ok, sweetheart... time to go - he grabbed me and held me up.
- You serious? Do you accept my offer?
- I'm going to give you a coffee, and take you to your hotel so you can sleep.
- But...
- nope. Do as you're told.
-  Ok, Dad?
- Come on.

He took me to the hotel and made sure I went to my room safe and sound. Even though I tried, I couldn't sleep. What a day... what a day.
At 7pm I receive a call from Ju.
- Hey baby girl. Where are you at?
- At the hotel.
- Honolulu's?
- yep.
- Ok we'll be there in five then.
-  Ok, I'll the downstairs waiting.

The dinner went very well. Everything goes well with a bottle of white wine. Ju asked me about Shannon but I didn't answer. I guess she got it. Anyway, it was fun. She's very happy with her fiaancée and I'm very happy for her. After that, they had to go somewhere so I asked them if they could leave me on the beach, so they did. I was sat on the sand just watching the night when my phone rang. It was Shannon.

- Hello? Hello? - he probably called me by mistake. All I could hear was Tomo laughing out loud. That made me laugh a little... tomo always made me laugh. I could hear their conversation. I was about to hang up (I didn't want to listen other peoples chats) when I heard something that caught me up.

- Hey bro. How are you doing? - Jared asked.
- Well, I would be lying if I said I'm ok. I'm a mess. She called me today saying that she won the role.
- That's awesome for her. - Tomo said.
- Yeah but not for me. Anyway, I won't be crying forever. I don't have time for that.
- But is everything ok between you two? - Jared asked
- No, we're not together anymore. Its time to move on. I know that guy Alex is into her. Sooner or later, something is going to happen.
- That does not sound like Rita.
- Jared, its time to move on. Time to do or die, isn't it? Well I feel like having a drink. Do you guys want to come?

And after that I hang up. I could not believe that just happened.
OK, was he mad at me? I think he was. This time I was the one that got away, but I was chasing my dreams. I thought he was going to wait for me. Shit, my heart was broken again but I seriously thought that was the final end. He was moving on, I needed to do that too.
I kept my head up, and my first week in Hawaii was AMAZYNG! It was the first time I had such a serious job but I was loving it. Everything was going so well. I bet my drama teacher would be proud.

Saturday night:

Time to rest! Finally. But not for too long. I opened my laptop and went to see the news on tumblr. And what I found... hell, I don't deserve that not even to my  worst enemy.

"Shannon Leto exits the club with two beautiful blonde girls. 
The drummer of the Rock band Thirty Seconds to Mars was found yesterday having intimate moments at the Amsterdam club with two young girls."

I did not want to read the rest. I know how it ended. I know him. Although, I wanted to make sure that that was true so I called Jared. 

- Hi Jay, how are you? - I was very calm. He did not.
- Hum Hi Rita. I'm great,  how are you? How is it going?
- Everything's fine. Listen I'm going to be very fast. I just need you to tell me the truth.
- Listen, I...
- Jared, is the rumour true?
- this is between you two.
- Just tell me the god damn truth, Jared!
- Yes, it is true. I'm sorry. I tried to get him to do the right thing but... - I was already crying.
- Its been a week... a freaking week.
- Oh sweetheart.
- Hey bro, is that annie? Tell her to bring bread. - I heard Shannon in the background.
- Actually it is for you. Take it. - he was about to get him on the phone.
- Jay, please don't. - I couldn't stop crying.
- Hey Annie Banani! Can you bring some bread please? I'm starving. - I didn't answer, of course - Annie?
- How could you, Shann?
- Rita? - he was shocked.
- Its been a fucking week...
- I had to move on.
- I thought you'd be waiting for me. That's what we've promised each other, Shann. - I was sobbing. Id never thought that that could happen again.
- Hey baby, don't cry...
- Don't call me that. It was all lies! Let me tell you something Shannon Leto, you are a hell of an actor. You made me believe in you! I was so stupid, AGAIN!
- We were supposed to be apart, we talked about that. We both were going to see other people. You had Alex there. I just went out with some girls.
- Alex? Alex is my friend.
- For now.
- From New York, not from you Shann.
- Don't say my name like that, baby. - BAAAAM, RIGHT IN THE FEELS.
- Don't worry. Its the last time you'll hear it.
- Rita, come on. We both knew this was going to happen. That's why we decided to...
- You seriously thought I would fuck some guy here? Do you really think I would have sex with Alex? That's you, not me.
- Rita I know I did something wrong but I was drunk, I took something. I was mad because you were staying there and...
- Do you really think that's an excuse?
- No but...
- You ruined everything Shannon. I hope you remember these words very clearly every single time you'll fuck anyone else: You are not going to find anyone else that would love you more than I did all these years. No one will love you like I do. And you screwd everything Shannon. You broke me. - he didn't answer this time. - I hate you. You don't deserve anything.
- No you don't. Baby I know I fucked everything up. I'm sorry.
- Unfortunately I'm not lying this time. I never want to see you again. I hate you. Goodbye.
- Rita, wait...

I broke the cellphone against the wall. That was the last time I wanted to talk to him. My life just changed. I wanted to get revenge because he really broke me. I started to see Alex more often and we were kind of together. At least sexually.

domingo, 20 de outubro de 2013

Capitulo 20 - A million little pieces.

Hawaii. It was my dream. Wasn't it? Well, I thought it was, now I'm not so sure. I just don't feel like I belong. Don't feel like home. At least not like New York. Even Lisbon wasn't where I belong. That's why I changed everything. I couldn't even think in portuguese anymore. My parents had me when they were living in Louisiana, but they went back to Portugal right after.
Anyway, when I woke up the day after, I needed a familiar voice, so the number I dialed was obvious.
- Hi. - I said, nervous.
- Hello kitty cat. - he said with his most sweet morning voice. Well, it wasn't morning in New York but he definately has just woken up.
- Good morning baby. How are you?
- ...Ok. You?
- Ok.
- Have you got any news from the show?
-No. Today I'm meeting Alex and we'll see. Maybe I'll audition today.
- Are you ready?
- I was born ready.
- Ahah good.
- Well, I just called to see how you are and... hear your voice.
- Yeah, it's good to hear your voice. Oh and Annie told me to tell you that Johanna was there on vacation with her fiaancé. Maybe you would want to meet her.
- Oh awesome. I'll call her right away.
- I'M COMMING! Sorry, I have to go. Can I call you later?
- Yeah, we'll talk soon. I love you.
- I love you.

After that I called Juca to know how she was.
- Helloooo!
- Hi Rita! What's up?
- Shannon just told me you were in Hawaii.
- Yeah, I'm here with John. When are you coming?
- I'm already here actually. Do you want to have dinner?
- That's an awesome idea. Where are you at?
- At the Honolulu Center Hotel II.
- We can go get you if you like.
- Perfect. I'll call you later,ok?  I got someone on hold. 7pm is cool?
- Awesome. See you later sweetheart. - she hang up and I answer the other one.

- Hi Alex!
- Hi Rita. Did I wake you?
- No, I was already awake.
- Can I come by and pick you up? I'm looking forward to present you the cast. Robert told me he wants to see you? Is that good for you?
- Great, I'm super ready.
- I'll be there in 10, ok?
- deal.
It took me 5 minutes to take a quick shower and another 5 to dress and get ready. As promissed, he was there when he said he would.

While we were eating he kept asking if I was ok. Well it is kind of obvious that I wasn't. Just like he wasn't when he left his son with his mother. I was so mad, with no reason, that words started to come out of my mouth and I could not stop the damn thing.
- Alex, if you keep asking that, I swear I'll take the first flight back to america. Of course I'm not ok! I just left everyone love  to be here! Remember when you came to me crying because you were already missing Saxon? Well, it is the same. Now leave me alone. - shit, I was being a bitch.
- I thought this was what you wanted. I'm just trying to help anyway. You don't need to talk like that.
- Shit. I'm so sorry, Alex. This has been too hard. I'm sorry.
- I know this isn't easy. That's why I'm trying to help you. I don't want to be the bad guy here, but no one forced you to come. You are here because this is what you want.
- I know. - he was right.
- So cheer up. This isn't time for sadness, sweetheart. Everything will be ok. - "Everything will be ok". Auch! I was looking at him but when he said that I saw Shannon in his eyes.
- Yeah, everything will be ok. - I tried to smile a little and think positive.
- Let's go? I want you to meet your collegues.
- Alright let's go.

We went right to were they were shooting and that yes, oh yes, that was my dream.
- Good morning guys. This is Rita. Your future new parter. -They were very kind. Daniel and Grace said hello, but not Scott. I knew Scott for a long time. Since he shot 'Lonely hearts' with Jared he became a family friend. So yeah, he didn't just say hello, he hugged me tight and, hell, that's what I needed the most.

- Scott, I missed you so much!
- Why didn't you tell me you were coming?
- I wanted to surprise you.
- Well, it was a hell of a surprise.
- I'm awesome, I know.
- Still the same ahah!
- Always.
- Did you know each other? - Alex asked, also surprised.
- Yeah, I made Lonely Hearts with Jared. Her brother In law.
- Jared? Brother in law?
- Jared Leto, he's my... was my... he's my ex-boyfriends brother.
- Oh sorry. - Scott said, flustered.
- It's ok. - I smiled, hiding all the shit that has been in my head.
- Hello, You must be Rita. - he was a a very handsome man in his fifties.
- Hi, yes I am.
- My name is Robert, the director. Nice to meet you. - he shook my hand.
- Oh the pleasure is all mine. Alex, you got yourself a very beautiful friend. You're a hell of a woman.
- Thank you, sir.
- Oh, call me Rob, please.
- Oh ok, Rob... I guess. - it was a bit awkward.
- Hey don't listen to him. He's a womanizer. - Scott said in my ear.
- Are you ready for your audition, miss?
- Hum, yeah sure.
- So do you want to follow me? The judges are waiting.
- Ok, let's go.
- Good luck! - they said.
- You're gonna kill it. - scott said, blinking his eye.
When we entered the room, there were 3 people sit with very serious faces.
- So Rita, whenever you're ready.
- Good morning, my name is Rita.
- Hey, I just had my audition... - Of course that Shann was the first person I called.
- So am I going to see you soon or not? - I know that deep down he was hoping that I would fail. A little selfish, I know...but I understand.
- Not.
- Oh congratulations, baby. You deserve it - he tried to pretend.
- You don't need to hide anything, Shannon.
- I'm not hiding, Rita. I'm happy for you.
- Hum hum.
- Of course I would love you being here with me but we don't always get what we want, so what other choice do I have than to be extremelly happy for you?
- I can hear in your voice that you are not.
- I'm happy for you. I'm just not happy myself.
- I'm sorry.
- It's ok. - we did not say a thing. We like it or not,  this was tearing us appart. - I gotta go.
- Ok.
- Talk to you soon. Bye
- Bye. Shann, I... - he hung up. - I miss you. 

- Hey is everything ok?  - Grace asked, joining me near the beach.
- wha..? Oh yeah sure.
- We're going to luch at Aloha's?  Want to come?
- Sure. Let's go.

That lunch was amazing. My new collegues were really trying to make me feel part of the 5-0 family and that felt amazing OR they were trying just to get me drunk which wasn't the best choice.

Alex offered to get me home but I didn't want to go home.
- Can we go to the beach?
- Are you sure? - he asked.
- Yeah...  I need to see the sea.
- Ok...
As I said, getting me drunk wasn't the best choice. We were siting on the sand and I couldn't stop talking. In 5 minutes I told him everything: Shannon, my mom, my dream, everything... And also...
- Alex, I think you're smoking hot. I wouldn't mind take you to bed. Expecially now that I don't have a boyfriend anymore and he doesn't even care. He must be fucking every single young girl in LA and New York, so... yeah, screw it...

sexta-feira, 6 de setembro de 2013

Capitulo 19 - ''...and hid beyond the edge of night''

- Good Morning. - I said, while he was squeezing my body against his.
- No!
-Not a good morning?
-Of Course not...
-Oh baby, my flight is in three hours. Let's not spend it with sadness.
- Deal.  I'll make you breakfast.
-Ok, let me take a shower first.
- What about:  You stay here, i'll make breakfast, and then we'll take a shower?
- Sounds fine, but i can't be late, Shann. Also because i wanted to say goodbye to Annie and Jared.
- Ok, we have time for that.
- Then get up and go!
- Ok Ok!!! - he got up and i waited about to 10 minutes until he comes back.
- Oooh, that looks good!
- I look good, right? I always look like this in the morning. - He joked and i had to laugh, of course.
- I was talking about the food, Shannon Leto.
- No you weren't. But who cares, anyway? I made you the best breakfast you'll ever have.
-Good, because i'm starving.
-Tchanaaam. - he just brought some toast and orange juice. - Sorry, you don't have a lot.
- Sorry! I always go to Walmart on mondays, but i wouldn't need it after today, so...
- We'll eat something outside, then.
- What about waffles?
- Again?
- I dont know! I just feel so addicted. I really feel like eating some waffles... with chocolate.
- Well, i only have toast for you now. Oh and a really awesome shower that you will enjoy very much.
- This is my house, so i think i know my shower very well, honey.
- Well, every shower with me in it are different, so...
- I already know that too ahah you're awesome.
- I know.
- I miss you. - His joke face turned into a sad face.
- Shut up or i'll kidnap you.
- I just feel like eating waffles and making love to you all day long... and not leaving you here.
- That sounds interesting... - he got closer, really closer to my mouth - Do you want to make love to me right now?
- That's so weird.
- What's weird?
- You have never asked me that in all these years.
- I just want to make this moment like our first one. I don't want this to be the end of us, but only the beggining.
- This won't be our end. We're stronger than that. I'm stronger than that, and i hope you're too.
- You were the only person in this world that made me questioning myself about my career, you know? I wanted to let it all go just to be with you.
- Never do that, please Shannon. I've seen this dream of yours come true through all these years, and being the reason for you to destroy it, would make me die inside. If you love me, you wouldn't want that.
- You are my dream now, Rita. I just want you. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.
- Are you serious? I never wanted you to think like that. That's your job, your dream, your life, your family. Promise you will never let it go. NEVER!
- I'm so addicted to you. Just like you're addicted to waffles! - we laughed.
- Promise me, Shannon.
- I promise you. But you talk like you won't love me anymore. Don't you want me everyday with you?
- I love you. I love you very much. More than anything in my life, seriously, you know that. But we'll have time for that baby. We'll have time to settle down, marry, maybe have babies, i dont know.
- I love you. - He said, looking at my eyes, almost crying.
- I know, baby. - I kissed him like it was the last time and he hugged me the same way. By feeling his touch i could say that he felt like he was losing me. And i felt it too. We ended laying on bed again. My head was lying on his chest and he was touching my hair and back gently.
- I'll miss everything about you, you know? The way you look at me when i arrive; the way you kiss me; the way you piss me off everyday. - He was trying not to cry. I could hear it in his voice - I just feel this black hole inside of me, you know? Knowing that i won't see you everyday just makes me sick.
- Shann... - He was making me cry too.
- ... The way you say ''Shann'' when you're sad; the way Jared looks at me when i'm with you because he knows that it is the only way for me to be happy. - I got and faced him. As soon as he saw my eyes full of tears, he started crying, sobbing, and it made me cry even harder.
- Please stop. - I grabbed his face and kissed him, but he wouldn't stop. Although, he was looking me in the eye and i could see the tears falling madly.
- Look at those eyes. How can i wake up everyday with them looking at me?
- Do you want to know what i'll miss about you? - he didn't answer, only looked at me with doubt. - I'll miss... i'll miss the peace you always give to my life, i'll miss your mouth. I'll miss the ''i love you's'', i'll miss the sex. - I had to make a joke. We laughed vaguely. I'll miss your eyes, your hands touching me, your voice in my ear every morning, the noise you make when your washing the dishes, - and we laughed again - i'll miss when you stay mad at me because i like to hang out with Bam. And i'll miss this. I'll miss this words. I'll miss this moment. Baby, we had so many issues so far. So many issues. We fought so much so we could be together. This can't let us down.
- I won't let this end today, do you hear me? I don't care if i'll have to go to Hawaii every week. I dont care. I'll will fight for you everyday in my life.
- I hope you do... I'll be waiting.
- I...
- I know you do. Me too. - he just started crying again. This would be one of the hardest things i had to do in my life. - Baby, come on. You're breaking my heart.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. - he hugged me with all his strength. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry - i cleaned his tears and he took a deep breath. - I dont know what's up with me. I'ts just... missing.
- I know. We need to clear up our heads. Do you still want to take that shower?
- Of course. Let's go baby.

After we were really ready, was time to the real goodbyes. Shannon was driving me to the airport and i was trying to call my friends, but no one would answer.

- Damn it!!! Come on!! Please! Answer the damn phone!
- Calm down, baby. - He tried to calm me down, but i think that was impossible,
-How can i calm down, Shannon? She's my best friend! How come she didn't remember i was leaving today?
- We still have time for that. Maybe she's not with her phone around.
- yeah, maybe.
- Don't be sad. - he kissed me - Everything will be ok.
- I know.

We arrived at the airport and for my surprise, everyone i loved was there to wish me good luck.

- I know you love surprises. - He said in my ear.
- Oh my god, you didn't.
- I did. You're the love of my life.
- I... i don't know what to say.
- Your eyes say everything, Rita. And you better go hug Annie, or she will drown in her tears. - I look back and there was Annie with Jared, Tomo, Vicky, Tixa, Mariza, Jason and Ryan. The first thing i wanted to do was hug my bestfriend.
- I'm gonna miss you so much!!! - I hugged her so tight that i think i took her breath away.
- Eu não acredito que te vais embora por tanto tempo, Rita!
- Eu volto num instantinho! Eu prometo! - She was crying so much, just like me. - Não chores, Annie. Sabes que me podes ligar sempre que quiseres. Aliás, todos me podem ligar sempre que puderem.

I hugged Jared as well. He wasn't crying, but i could see in his eyes that he was sad.

-Take care of her. And take care of Shannon, ok? Promise me.
- I will.
- I love you.
- I love you too, little sister.
- I'm gonna miss you.

I said goodbye to everyone. It was hard. They were my life. I didnt even know how it was possible to go without them. Finally, Shannon went with me to the boarding gate where i had to go.

- So... this is it. - I said.
- Promise me you'll be happy?
- Only if you do the same.
- Not without you.
- Then you know i can't promise you that. - They warned me that i had to entered the plane one last time. - I have to go. - I was crying so much, that i dont thing the words came out of my mouth.
- No... - He was starting to cry too - Please.
- Shannon please, don't cry.
- I love you so much..
- I know, i love you too. I love you, i love you. - We had our kiss goodbye and i step back, ready to catch that damn airplane, but we could let our hands go.
- I promise. - I finally had to let go.
- I promise. - He answered.

It was a long travel, but when i arrived, there was no place better than Honolulu. It was so beautiful i couldn't even stop staring at everything.

But then i saw Alex waiting for me outside.

- Hi! How are you? Did you have a good flight, honey?
- Hello Alex. Im fine. Yeah, but i am so tired.
- No problem, I'll leave you at the hotel and we talk better tomorrow, deal?
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I tried to enjoy it. It was my dream. At least i thought it was my dream before that day, because in the end, we realize that our dreams aren't possible if we don't have what's more important in life. Love.